was browsing design sites I frequent, one of them referred to a macabre plan to be brewing to make life as checkered a designer dares to go out Busaco daily food or just crossing the corner.
And the plan is so well structured that could well be a bitter designer or one of our clan that have the perfect recipe for dealing with customers. I would do then do "copy and paste" to show clear about the extermination of the designers:
"As everyone knows, graphic designers are the reason why there are so many wars and chaos in the world. They get into our minds with subliminal messages they use in their designs, require us to spend our money on useless products, lead to depression and violent acts and of course, most designers are communists.
So to save the world from the evil graphic designers I created this list of things we can do to make sure to stop them and force them to leave their profession ... forever!!
1 - Microsoft Office. When you have to send a file to a graphic designer make sure that this in any Microsoft Office program, PC version of choice. If you have to send pictures make sure that these are embedded in an Office file such as Word or PowerPoint, this will go crazy. Do not forget to lower the resolution as much as you can to the image in this way will have to call to ask a higher resolution and when you do, send him an even smaller. If you use email to send it forgets attach the file a couple of times.
2 - Sources. (Fonts) If the designer chooses Helvetica, Arial ask you. If he chooses Comic Sans Arial ask. If he chooses Comic Sans means that he is half crazy and your mission will be easier.
3 - More is better. Let's say you sent a flyer design. Graphic designers always try to leave white space everywhere: use large margins, plenty of space between letters and between lines of a paragraph. They say this makes it easier to read and that the design will look more clean and professional. Lie! The reason they do this is for you document is larger and expensive. Why do this? Because graphic designers hate people ... they also eat babies ... raw.
So ask the designer to use smaller margins and the text makes it very small. You use many fonts and those little pictures that come default in Office programs. They will try to defend their reasons but do not worry, in the end you are the customer and you're right.
4 - Logos. If you have to send a logo to a designer for a project sure to follow the procedure of sending detailed images in # 1 or better yet, tell him to get off the Internet or mándaselo fax. Once the poor devil managed to recreate your logo in the design ask him to make it bigger. On the other hand, if you want to design a custom logo make your own sketches on a napkin or ask one of your nephews that I drew for you. The sketch you have to be as little detail as possible. The less the designer understands better because it forced him to make a thousand changes later. Never accept the first proposal by either the ninth. Ask him to finish a picture in the logo, 3D letters in rainbow gradients and use at least three types of letters.
When you deliver the tenth proposal say that you like the second but that seems to fifth using colors the seventh. This is cruel but remember graphic designers are the number one cause of cancer in our country.
5 - Use your own words. When she describes a project to a designer be sure to use terms that mean something like: "I want to design super father" or "look pretty", "vibrate", "something spectacular." If you prefer using contradictory terms: "color but black and white" conservative but quirky "Doing this makes the designer a step closer to madness and further away from wanting to continue their profession.
6 - Colors. The best way to choose colors for your design is random. You can write your favorite colors on pieces of paper and throw in a hat and pick blindly. The designers suggest you choose two or three at most but do not be fooled they want to sabotage your work, choose how many colors you want and if you want to change them mid-project these within your rights.
7 - Deadlines. When the designer asks you to approve the project, take your time. No hurry, take two or three days to a week if you want as long as just one day before the deadline of project delivery to tell the designer has to make more corrections and changes. This will probably cause liver Designer explode but who cares? They are responsible for terrorist attacks our country has suffered lately.
8 - finish it! After applying all of this list to your victim, the designer, human nature (to be determined whether they are human or not) will feel a bit insecure. For now you will realize that it can not meet your needs and abandon any hope of winning an argument against you and will do everything you ask without a wince. If you want your design in canary yellow with orange letters will.
is easy to think that after all this you won the war against the designers but remember that goal is that the designer is out of business. So get ready to give the final blow. While making the final decisions on colors, text, images, etc. Tell him you feel disappointed by their lack of initiative, he is the designer and should be the one who make decisions using their experience and talent, not you. Tell
expected more initiative and advice from you and you're already sick of his lack of creativity and that from now on you will do your own designs in Microsoft Publisher or Word instead of paying for their services. After that you can be sure that the world will be a graphic designer which care less. "
Basically there ends the manifest. After reading it, do not feel that this plan is already underway?
Text owe it to Isopixel.
